Last night I enjoyed my pet again. I have to remind myself to be more gentle over the net... I tend to be far more sadistic online than in person, not a good idea. To put it in the most simple terms, I want to keep my girl, not chase her off. I love her very much, and miss her horribly.
Last night I had her do what I term "a devotion". It's a very simple concept, set up a scenario, where she can do something to please herself, nothing, or something that she will hate but I will love. Honestly, nothing is the worst of these three options, but I will get to that in a minute. Some examples of this, would be, she is only allowed to use her hands on her pussy, or use both hands on her tits, or only allowed to touch the butt plug which is currently inside of her. Her actions show me how badly she wants to show her devotion at that moment. I -will not- punish her no matter what she does during a devotion. Using the first example, she could turn her hands over, press the wrists against her pussy, and flip me off with both hands, and I could not punish her, however, I would be quite disappointed and more than a bit offended. More often than not, my girl will do her utmost to please me, regardless of what she believes that to be. Last night she began begging me to tell her how to better please me, while doing a devotion, and then proceeded to do every thing I suggested. This is where I remind any one reading this, that I am a sadist.
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All of the above probably sounds more than a bit abusive, mentally, emotionally, and obviously physically. My only defense for myself is this, if I were to try to show my devotion to my girl, if I were to try to show my girl how far I was willing to go to prove I loved her, I would probably end up completely naked, on my knees, offering her the crop I have used on her so often. (Don't get me wrong, part of me is EXCEEDINGLY happy that she will never ask this of me) I do love my girl far more than I can express.
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But to continue about last night. I had a very nice orgasm while using her on cam. Part of the male anatomy is the coma that comes after a strong orgasm, if you don't physically fight against it. Most women have no clue about how hard it is to fight or how serious the drowsiness is. That being said, I did fall asleep almost immediately, then proceeded to wake up through the night, to watch my girl sleep on webcam. I honestly love watching her sleep, she is adorable. (I know, kinda creepy and more than a little sappy, what can I say?) I read her blog today and found out she felt a bit abandoned during that part of the night, and I never meant her to feel that way. That is another thing about the net that is a problem, were she here, even if I had fallen asleep right away, it would have been with my arms around her, not around a stuffed rabbit that she left her for the summer. (to any one reading this, there is an image for you, an old, perverted, sadistic man, with his arms wrapped lovingly around a blue, plush, stuffed bunny....)
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And with that last image, I will bid you a goodnight.
I love you very much my girl, and I cannot wait to have you back in my arms again.
-Thoma
aka Shade
Friday, May 7, 2010
Long Distance....
My girl has gone back to her grandparents house for the summer. College months are going to be fun next year. I will only need to roll over to wrap my arms around her at night, she will be living with me. This summer however will be a test of willpower. Last night I enjoyed her via webcam. To be honest the options when using a pet over the cam, while she is in the same house as her grandparents are limited. Luckily she has access to a nearly soundproof area and her grandparents appear to sleep like the dead. It's late and I will probably write more at a later time, though with her five hours away, I don't know how often I will have much to write..
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Sweating
There is an old saying among dominants. "Being dominant means never having to sleep in the wet spot on the bed". I only bring this up because a few minutes ago I looked at the bed and realized there was the occasional dry spot, but no spot on the bed that wasn't wet with sweat or other various fluids large enough for someone to sleep in, even curled into a ball. In other words, yes, tonight was fun.
My pet got here earlier, and was only wearing a skirt and a shirt, to which I bent her over on the bed, and in various other places and positions and fucked her very roughly. This was accompanied as always with various other things, hair pulling, slapping, pinching, various sweet poisons being whispered into her ear, and of course several bite marks. This only lasted a short time, because we had somewhere else to be.
The resort was fun, molesting my pet in a hot tub, a pool or a sauna is very relaxing. Also, my pet is fairly "service oriented" meaning my shoulders, feet, legs, and back were all massaged at some point or another, mostly while I was in the hot tub. Naturally the amount of molestation that was hidden by the bubbles in the hot tub was not appropriate for a public place, but who cares? After we had our fill (literally more than two hours), I had her get dressed, in nothing but her skirt, which was pulled up to cover her tits. Then we went outside and I molested her some more, pulling the skirt up to fondle her.
After we got home, we started again, beginning with hard fucking and getting rougher from there. My pet was an anal virgin when we met, since then she has used an anal plug on various occasions, been instructed on how to stretch her ass, and even had anal sex on two separate occasions. Tonight was the second. While fucking her ass she began to cry, but not use her safe word, I thought she was gritting her teeth and bearing it for my pleasure at first. Moments later I realized she was seriously crying and I was honestly worried. I took a break and cuddled with her until she stopped crying. After that she did something that made me grin, she asked and then almost begged for me to try taking her ass again. After a short time fucking her ass (we did get to the point of me actually pounding her ass) she used her safe word. After I stopped and cuddled her some more, making sure she was ok, she asked me to please fuck her some more, as I had not cum yet. This continued until it climaxed in the most brutal fuck I have ever given someone. (that coming from a sadist might mean something to you). When I collapsed on the bed, still inside of her, I realized that both of us were sweating profusely, obviously me much more than her.
All in all, it was a great night, of course sexually, it was an amazing night, but now she is waiting in bed for me to come cuddle with her, so I will write more another time.
-Thoma
aka Shade
My pet got here earlier, and was only wearing a skirt and a shirt, to which I bent her over on the bed, and in various other places and positions and fucked her very roughly. This was accompanied as always with various other things, hair pulling, slapping, pinching, various sweet poisons being whispered into her ear, and of course several bite marks. This only lasted a short time, because we had somewhere else to be.
The resort was fun, molesting my pet in a hot tub, a pool or a sauna is very relaxing. Also, my pet is fairly "service oriented" meaning my shoulders, feet, legs, and back were all massaged at some point or another, mostly while I was in the hot tub. Naturally the amount of molestation that was hidden by the bubbles in the hot tub was not appropriate for a public place, but who cares? After we had our fill (literally more than two hours), I had her get dressed, in nothing but her skirt, which was pulled up to cover her tits. Then we went outside and I molested her some more, pulling the skirt up to fondle her.
After we got home, we started again, beginning with hard fucking and getting rougher from there. My pet was an anal virgin when we met, since then she has used an anal plug on various occasions, been instructed on how to stretch her ass, and even had anal sex on two separate occasions. Tonight was the second. While fucking her ass she began to cry, but not use her safe word, I thought she was gritting her teeth and bearing it for my pleasure at first. Moments later I realized she was seriously crying and I was honestly worried. I took a break and cuddled with her until she stopped crying. After that she did something that made me grin, she asked and then almost begged for me to try taking her ass again. After a short time fucking her ass (we did get to the point of me actually pounding her ass) she used her safe word. After I stopped and cuddled her some more, making sure she was ok, she asked me to please fuck her some more, as I had not cum yet. This continued until it climaxed in the most brutal fuck I have ever given someone. (that coming from a sadist might mean something to you). When I collapsed on the bed, still inside of her, I realized that both of us were sweating profusely, obviously me much more than her.
All in all, it was a great night, of course sexually, it was an amazing night, but now she is waiting in bed for me to come cuddle with her, so I will write more another time.
-Thoma
aka Shade
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The Shackled Monster
To clarify, no, I'm not talking about my slave. I would never call her a monster. I am talking about that part of my mind, that is sadistic. That part of my mind that wants to see another person degraded, abused, tortured, hurt, crying, and honestly not enjoying it.
On a day to day basis, I keep that monster shackled tightly in the back of my mind. If you met me on the street or at a social function, you would never guess it was even there. You would never look at this person who takes care of his friends, works with children, and seems to be generally kind, and think he would ever want to see another human tied to the floor covered in shallow but very painful bruises, wimpering and crying for him to stop hurting them.
The shackles on that monster are very tight and only released when it is safe to do so. This is one of the reasons why I love my slave as much as I do. She knows this part of my mind exists and will actually ask for me to let it loose. She does not like pain. Honestly, she is not a masochist in the normal sense, pain is pain to her, not pleasure. Her only pleasure is in seeing me enjoy myself. She is a true and devoted submissive, and I love her more each day for that.
I have of course, explained all of this to her. I have explained that in the past I have released one or two of the four shackles holding that monster down while playing with a previous slave, but never more than that. She seems to understand that even though I could cage that monster indefinitely if I needed to, that it is relaxing and enjoyable to let it play.
Tonight and the next night I am working 15 hour long over night shifts. Between these shifts and a bit of sleep, I won't see her for more than two days. I believe that when I do see her again, I might just release two of the shackles and hand her the key to the third, in case she is feeling brave. I have already told her that she is to show up at my home when we can finally see eachother again wearing nothing but a one peice dress that comes to mid thigh. Also that night, we are going to go to a local resort where there is a hot tub, pool and sauna, for a little bit of relaxation, and play, if we can manage when no one is looking...
or maybe when they are... *wicked grin*
On a day to day basis, I keep that monster shackled tightly in the back of my mind. If you met me on the street or at a social function, you would never guess it was even there. You would never look at this person who takes care of his friends, works with children, and seems to be generally kind, and think he would ever want to see another human tied to the floor covered in shallow but very painful bruises, wimpering and crying for him to stop hurting them.
The shackles on that monster are very tight and only released when it is safe to do so. This is one of the reasons why I love my slave as much as I do. She knows this part of my mind exists and will actually ask for me to let it loose. She does not like pain. Honestly, she is not a masochist in the normal sense, pain is pain to her, not pleasure. Her only pleasure is in seeing me enjoy myself. She is a true and devoted submissive, and I love her more each day for that.
I have of course, explained all of this to her. I have explained that in the past I have released one or two of the four shackles holding that monster down while playing with a previous slave, but never more than that. She seems to understand that even though I could cage that monster indefinitely if I needed to, that it is relaxing and enjoyable to let it play.
Tonight and the next night I am working 15 hour long over night shifts. Between these shifts and a bit of sleep, I won't see her for more than two days. I believe that when I do see her again, I might just release two of the shackles and hand her the key to the third, in case she is feeling brave. I have already told her that she is to show up at my home when we can finally see eachother again wearing nothing but a one peice dress that comes to mid thigh. Also that night, we are going to go to a local resort where there is a hot tub, pool and sauna, for a little bit of relaxation, and play, if we can manage when no one is looking...
or maybe when they are... *wicked grin*
Friday, April 9, 2010
Sweat, Blood, Wax, and Oil.
And to think, that is just what ended up on the blanket. It was my pet's birthday today. Tonight we enjoyed a simple time, consisting of a long oil massage, candle wax, and a good amount of sex, even though she is on her period. All in all it was a fun night, I hope to write more soon. (I know I have been neglecting this, and should fix that.)
-Thoma
aka Shade
-Thoma
aka Shade
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
-Fun-
My pet is not the first subservient woman I have had in my life. That being said, most fall to one side or the other of what I am looking for. Either they end up on hands and knees in front of me, begging me to put my feet on their back, because I glance at a footstool, or they argue, contradict, and think they know better what I want, than what I tell them. It is appropriate for a submissive to do as they are told, or to try to please the dominant in their life, but it is also important for them to be themselves.
My current pet doesn't toe that line in the middle. She stands on it. With both feet planted, hands at her hips, unwilling to move from being perfect for me.
Personally I believe this to be a huge stroke of luck on my part. It's a bit like getting into the shower, and having it be the exact temperature you want, every time you turn the faucet on, immediately. It just doesn't happen normally.
On top of all of this, she is also perfect for me in many other ways, most of which I couldn't put into words, but the one on my mind at the moment is that she is fun. You take a standard submissive out, and have an opportunity for them to express themselves, and you generally get a vomiting of whatever they believe you will like. Tonight we were in a gallery, that normally shows off local college artwork. Tonight the gallery had a sign on the wall saying that any one looking at the works of art, should add to them, or the room itself in ANY way they wanted. To this end the walls were half covered with drawing/paintings/and pictures, and there was a table that was a piece of artwork to itself in the middle of the room. On the table was a selection of art supplies (mostly markers), that were free to be used, either on the walls themselves, paper, or whatever other people had put up as pieces of art.
What ensued upon us finding this room can only be described as "Fun". Both of us are very young at heart (despite my actual age), hence there were many comical drawings or changes made, such as drawing hearts in the eyes of a very well drawn gunman from the old west, making a large sign that said "smile" with a smiley face, adding feathers to the spokes of a bicycle that had been painted and left upside down on one end of the room, adding wings to a kermit the frog doll, and writing next to it on the wall "a flying frog, now flies aren't safe anywhere!". This continued for close to a half hour, and all I could do was smile during almost all of it.
I will not see my pet tonight, or most of tomorrow, and oddly enough I miss her already. Regardless of what she thinks, smothering me is hard. Then again if you look at it logically: I love the girl, she appears to be perfect for me, she is willing to do whatever it takes to please me, and that last part could include me saying "you stay here, me and my best friend are going to go for a ride so I can get some air"... Why would I ever want her to leave?
I love her, and have no plans on letting go of her. Enough said.
-Thoma
aka Shade
My current pet doesn't toe that line in the middle. She stands on it. With both feet planted, hands at her hips, unwilling to move from being perfect for me.
Personally I believe this to be a huge stroke of luck on my part. It's a bit like getting into the shower, and having it be the exact temperature you want, every time you turn the faucet on, immediately. It just doesn't happen normally.
On top of all of this, she is also perfect for me in many other ways, most of which I couldn't put into words, but the one on my mind at the moment is that she is fun. You take a standard submissive out, and have an opportunity for them to express themselves, and you generally get a vomiting of whatever they believe you will like. Tonight we were in a gallery, that normally shows off local college artwork. Tonight the gallery had a sign on the wall saying that any one looking at the works of art, should add to them, or the room itself in ANY way they wanted. To this end the walls were half covered with drawing/paintings/and pictures, and there was a table that was a piece of artwork to itself in the middle of the room. On the table was a selection of art supplies (mostly markers), that were free to be used, either on the walls themselves, paper, or whatever other people had put up as pieces of art.
What ensued upon us finding this room can only be described as "Fun". Both of us are very young at heart (despite my actual age), hence there were many comical drawings or changes made, such as drawing hearts in the eyes of a very well drawn gunman from the old west, making a large sign that said "smile" with a smiley face, adding feathers to the spokes of a bicycle that had been painted and left upside down on one end of the room, adding wings to a kermit the frog doll, and writing next to it on the wall "a flying frog, now flies aren't safe anywhere!". This continued for close to a half hour, and all I could do was smile during almost all of it.
I will not see my pet tonight, or most of tomorrow, and oddly enough I miss her already. Regardless of what she thinks, smothering me is hard. Then again if you look at it logically: I love the girl, she appears to be perfect for me, she is willing to do whatever it takes to please me, and that last part could include me saying "you stay here, me and my best friend are going to go for a ride so I can get some air"... Why would I ever want her to leave?
I love her, and have no plans on letting go of her. Enough said.
-Thoma
aka Shade
Monday, March 29, 2010
Even Masters get sick.
I have a very wonderful girl. I am slightly worried I'm going to impede her college education, but that aside I love the amount of time I am able to enjoy her. She has been over twice today and will probably be back over to sleep here tonight. The first time was when she woke up this morning, then the seconds was to bring me soup that as she put it "we won't discuss the price of" and now she wants to come back and sleep in an old, sick, feverish, and cranky man's arms.
Hmmm, maybe she truly is a masochist...
I will write more when I don't feel like my body is on fire and my throat doesn't feel like saliva is made of broken glass...
until then.
-Thoma
aka Shade
Hmmm, maybe she truly is a masochist...
I will write more when I don't feel like my body is on fire and my throat doesn't feel like saliva is made of broken glass...
until then.
-Thoma
aka Shade
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